unpredictable

When there are so many good days, it still comes as a disappointment when a bad day arises. This is the unpredictable reality of mental illness. On his meds, Dave is more or less maintained. His meds keep him at a level where he can care for his daily needs, take care of the kids for limited periods of time and help me out with chores if I'm getting run down. And I've become used to this. I like the help and appreciate it. So this morning when my kids were too sick to go to their dayhome and Dave didn't answer his text my heart sank. I knew it, but called him anyway because I needed help. And I knew for sure when he answered the phone. The bad days creep up and cover him in a drape of darkness. That's how it feels to me anyway...so I know I can't ask anything of him. It's a difficult reminder of our truth. That this is with us forever. That I can't rely on him. At least not for awhile until the darkness fades and I once again get a glimpse of the guy I once knew.